Sunday, April 17, 2011

Up/down date......:o\

Well it's been an emotional couple of days. I had been hearing we may be traveling early June then there was a confirming call made to our agency that said early July would be the earliest we would travel. I just started a countdown at 55 days to go and had to switch to 85. It was like someone covered me in a cold wet blanket. This part of the process is hard, when you have an image of a little boy's sweet face on your fridge, on your wall, in a frame in your living room, ok you get the picture....there are photo's of him everywhere....but I can't pick him up, hug him, sing to him, tuck him into bed, kiss his boo boo's or tell him how much I love him....I miss him....I know your wondering how I can possibly miss a little guy who I haven't formally even met yet but I do. Can you imagine a pregnant mother giving birth, seeing a photo of her new born baby but not being able to hold her/him for 7 months? We have 4 years to try to catch up on here! I know I sound upset and I am that is true but I'm praying that God is on this and He will remove whatever stands in the way of us getting to our son in His perfect time. I am choosing to put my trust in Him that He will sustain us through this part of the wait. I also can't help but wonder how our son feels knowing he has a family but that it is taking so long for us to get to him. I pray the God of all comfort gives him the peace he needs. 7 months to a 4 year old is a very long time!
Sugar Pie has been a real trooper. She looks forward to going into his room each day and putting a sticker on his count down calendar. Then we say a little prayer for him. 83 more days today.
I still can't help but wonder if they are just telling us July so we don't get our hopes up again with an earlier travel only to have it delayed again.....I want to believe it because it would be such a relief, blessing and pleasant surprise if it were earlier. It gives me hope. I know our agency will do the best they can....after all although they are wonderful advocates for these sweet children it is also a lively hood for them, and it's probably been quieter for them since things have slowed down. I'm holding onto the hope of it being changed to mid June. (I had a message on my answering machine a couple of weeks ago from agency saying middle June possibly....that was before the latest info but from two different people in the agency..) This little photo is a pic of Hunny Bunch's orphanage.
I'm not meaning to rant.... just typing my feelings(on my own blog so I can look back on the chronicles of adoption#2 one day)....I feel the pain but I can't do a thing to change it myself so I rely on the one thing I know is true and that's my faith in the Lord. He knows where our LOA/LSC is and how soon it will come. He also knows when our TA will be here. So the best thing I can do right now is pray...... childlike faith with a smile on my face....just like my daughter does. Wednesday night she prayed and asked Jesus into her heart swelled as I listened to that sweet little voice talking to her heavenly Father. She has been a little prayer warrior right from day one when she started saying grace but only recently started to fully understand the gospel. There wasn't a hint of hesitation when daddy and I asked her if she would like to pray a prayer to ask Jesus to be her saviour. Truly the little ones "get it" better than some older people who try to complicate and excuse the invitation. I wanna grow up to be just like my daughter and have that kinda childlike all God puts in our path.
Romans 5:1-5 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
(starting to feel a little refined.) :o).


The Drinkwaters said...

I know how hard this wait is... it is ok to rant if you need to. I hope there will somehow be an earlier travel group.

Kim said...

I can't imagine how it is.. but one day I will find out.. not sure when because my wait is crazy..
I love my Isabella and have no idea what she looks like..
I love you guys sooo much and so happy to be part of your family as you are ours...
I can't wait to meet my sweet Nephew..

Kim said...

Praying that you will be pleasantly surprised with an earlier travel date! It is soo hard to wait!! I can't even imagine how much harder it will be when we can see our little girls face, but can't immediately go and get her. Love and Prayers

a Tonggu Momma said...

Oh how sorry I am that happened. I think that's one of the most difficult aspects of the adoption process for APs... seeing the dates push back further and further, with no control. (((hugs)))

April and Matthew said...

We are anticipating our LID this week. This is our first adoption. I totally and completely understand what you are feeling - we are going through the same experience. I spend so many moments each day wondering what our little guy is doing, and wishing that he was home already. I want to hug him. I want to know him. Waiting so hard. Hang in there. There is a light at the end of our tunnel, and it's a really bright one! :o)

Michelle said...

I totally understand your disappointment. I would feel the same. I'm just making the rounds to say I hope you have a wonderful Easter tomorrow.