Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Unconditional

Almost 21 years ago I met a girl. I was 17. Right away she and I hit it off. We went on to grow up together sharing life’s experiences whether good or bad. Never once did we go our separate ways. Once in a while we did disagree with one another. I was the wiser of the two, not to toot my horn or anything because she would agree, although one time she said something to me that was true but very hard to hear. She said, “When we go through something hard it always brings us closer in the end.” This statement has never rang so true these last few weeks with everything we have been challenged with.
She has listened to me talk continuously about our adoption. She has been my shoulder to cry on when things looked glum. She has been my encouragement when others have become tired of hearing me lament about the long wait.
A few weeks ago she held something back, afraid she would hurt and disappoint me and not sure how to break the news. I ended up finding out on my own through a series of things that pointed in that direction. I discovered that she would be having a baby in 6 months.
Was I hurt? Yes, to be totally honest at first I felt entirely deflated but quickly decided she was going to need me to be her supporter and encourager the same way she had been mine.
Did I feel a grave injustice came over me? Yes, for a brief moment in time I really did. I’d always dreamed I would have my family before she did.
Was I disappointed? Yes, I won’t lie. I had hoped she would be married first and she and her husband would have their own home.
When I confronted her to ask if my suspicions were true she confessed that it was indeed true and we embraced and cried together. I let her know I would be there for her not just because we are the best of friends but also because she is my daughter. There was definitly a process of real feelings that I had to walk threw before I could fully comprehend what was important and what feelings I had to let go. Not to mention we were dealing with this all around the same time we found out about my brother in law having cancer, Bailey having to be rushed to the vet, Sunshine's stay had ended and we hit our 2 year LID anniversary.
I concluded not only did we grow up together but now we are about to share the unique experience of raising our children together. We can do anything threw Christ who strengthens us and boy did I have a workout!
I’m going to be a nana before I’m mommy again. Is there a love on this earth that could ever compare to the unconditional love one has for their child? I think not.
She is doing incredible, unfolding into the most beautiful butterfly I’ve ever laid eyes on. She is going to be an amazing momma.
Unconditional
In the mean time we sure could use some words of encouragment to help pull us threw. Keep us in your prayers. It's been a pretty emotional summer thus far. Makes me REALLY look forward to California in September. We need it!

21 comments:

3D said...

Wow...you have a lot on your shoulders.

Find the positive. Hard to see sometimes but so worth it.

Congrats! A new baby is coming.

Keep smilin!

Dawn and Dale said...

Oh Debbie!! Your post brought tears to my eyes and is titled sooooo perfectly!!

Congratulations!! Isn't it awesome to know that God had this wee one designed and made perfectly before we even had a clue??!! :)

Blessings to your growing family!!

Love Dawn.

Briana's Mom said...

Wow - that is an amazing, bittersweet post. Congrats on the new baby! Thinking of you...

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

This is amazing Deb...I am sure it came as a bit of a shock, but I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason and God never gives you more than you can handle!

Congratulations to you both....you will soon have a grandbaby and a daughter....how lucky to have 2 new children coming into your life and wonderful family!

As a family you are dealing with a lot right now, but you can do it...you are a strong lady who has great belief and conviction!

I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers!

Lisa

OziMum said...

You ARE a good friend. Good friend's are always honest, but put aside their own feelings to support their friends in need.

Hopefully once the Olympics pass, we'll see more days allocated each month, and your children will be close in age! What a treasure, that you will both have children that can grow up together!

The same thing happened with my best friend. Her "baby" is now 2 and 1/2.

Janet said...

Wow. That must have come as a shock. But you're right, unconditional love. :-)

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

Congratulations..
I am tearing up just because it is sooo hard to be a young mommy.. I know that.. but the closeness you get from your children is Amazing..
You will be an Awesome mommy and grandmother.. Keep your chin up girly..
You are almost there and you will have two little ones.. and they will want all of your LOVE..
HUGS...

nikki said...

O my gosh, Debz...wow.
What a journey this has been for you.
You are all certainly in my prayers. You are an incredible mom and I am in awe of you at this moment.
Other than God's love for us, there is nothing that comes close to the love of a momma.
XO

Shionge said...

Hiya my dear friend, as I was reading this post I didn't see this coming but honestly to be true to you, this is indeed a challenging time and time for strength and lots of bonding.

I wish you well and during this time, your daughter needs your support. Trust that love & bond would be strengthen and you have my best wishes and prayer.....unconditional ;)

kerri said...

Your daughter is blessed to have you as her Mom and friend, this will strengthen your bond. Life's surprises are often the best kind, enjoy this special time and know things will work out.

Special K said...

That's a hard one. I can only imagine all the emotions you've felt in reaction to the news. Not only in dealing with your own disappointment in this wait but in also realizing how much your daughter's life is going to change...and at such a young age.

But in the end, everything will work out just fine. Once you deal with the challenges, life will settle down and you'll raise your new daughter and grandchild together. They'll be the best of friends and so close in age!

Hang in there, Deb

Anonymous said...

Deb

I say congrats to you! Your family is more than deserving of this blessing of a new child! I watched you raise your daughter and am proud to say that you did an amazing job, she is a beautiful soul all around and will raise your grandchild with the love and wisdom that you did with her. Embrace this new faze of your life together, it will be hard but the journey will be more than anything you could imagine or wish for.......Grandmother is not a term of age, it is a term of wisdom, honour and a sign that you have been an amazing mom and will be again. I can just see you guys with your two daughters and the new grandchild !WOW! what lucky children.............Martha

Elisa. said...

Amazing news, you are a wonderful mother and friend..congrats.

Anonymous said...

Hey debz;
ya know I am there and when you finally could write this you did a great job. Huggs
We will be there together.
Iris

Elise said...

You are an amazing mom! I know this is hard but God is with you every step of the way and he uses everything for good. I know you already know that but I need to be reminded of that sometimes. You and your daughter are in my prayers!

Shannon said...

You are a strong, giving, faith filled woman, Debz, and you are definitely an unconditional friend. Such a truly beautiful woman! Best wishes to this friend and her baby. The best is yet to come!

Debra Sue said...

Your strength and unconditional love is shining through. You're one tough mama, and Jac is lucky to have you as a mom and as a friend.

Dara said...

Well done....

I am so proud of you!!!

Anonymous said...

Debz,
So glad you were finally able to get this out in the open.You've had a rough few weeks but I knew with your strength and Gods' help that you would get there.God bless you and your family.
Sandra(Garfield)

OH MY #6 said...

absolutely, no doubt in my mind this is the most profound, fantastic, post I have read to date. Thank you, for sharing this. You are both strong women and will get through the highs and lows of this.

Lea
xo

geminirn said...

All i can say is big hugs to you and your beautiful daughter,if your daughter turns out to be as great a mom as you then the Island will soon have another wonderful mom and two more precious babies and that can't be a bad thing.

The biggest of hugs from across the waters!!