Almost 21 years ago I met a girl. I was 17. Right away she and I hit it off. We went on to grow up together sharing life’s experiences whether good or bad. Never once did we go our separate ways. Once in a while we did disagree with one another. I was the wiser of the two, not to toot my horn or anything because she would agree, although one time she said something to me that was true but very hard to hear. She said, “When we go through something hard it always brings us closer in the end.” This statement has never rang so true these last few weeks with everything we have been challenged with.
She has listened to me talk continuously about our adoption. She has been my shoulder to cry on when things looked glum. She has been my encouragement when others have become tired of hearing me lament about the long wait.
A few weeks ago she held something back, afraid she would hurt and disappoint me and not sure how to break the news. I ended up finding out on my own through a series of things that pointed in that direction. I discovered that she would be having a baby in 6 months.
Was I hurt? Yes, to be totally honest at first I felt entirely deflated but quickly decided she was going to need me to be her supporter and encourager the same way she had been mine.
Did I feel a grave injustice came over me? Yes, for a brief moment in time I really did. I’d always dreamed I would have my family before she did.
Was I disappointed? Yes, I won’t lie. I had hoped she would be married first and she and her husband would have their own home.
When I confronted her to ask if my suspicions were true she confessed that it was indeed true and we embraced and cried together. I let her know I would be there for her not just because we are the best of friends but also because she is my daughter. There was definitly a process of real feelings that I had to walk threw before I could fully comprehend what was important and what feelings I had to let go. Not to mention we were dealing with this all around the same time we found out about my brother in law having cancer, Bailey having to be rushed to the vet, Sunshine's stay had ended and we hit our 2 year LID anniversary.
I concluded not only did we grow up together but now we are about to share the unique experience of raising our children together. We can do anything threw Christ who strengthens us and boy did I have a workout!
I’m going to be a nana before I’m mommy again. Is there a love on this earth that could ever compare to the unconditional love one has for their child? I think not.
She is doing incredible, unfolding into the most beautiful butterfly I’ve ever laid eyes on. She is going to be an amazing momma.
In the mean time we sure could use some words of encouragment to help pull us threw. Keep us in your prayers. It's been a pretty emotional summer thus far. Makes me REALLY look forward to California in September. We need it!