Wednesday, May 02, 2007


A lady was talking to a friend who was in the process of adopting from China and asked her if she was approached by someone to adopt privately would she be interested. Confused by the question and where she was going with it the lady asked for clarification and it got her to thinking with the wait being so long, could this be too good to be true, could she adopt privately while also waiting for her daughter from China? Needing more information the lady offered the friend phone numbers to give the person who was looking for a home for a 9 month old child. The caregiver of the child (who was legally allowed to place the child with the assistance of a licenced adoption lawyer) then called the adopting lady and they spoke but only about the basics. The adopting lady wanted to guard her heart so she only asked the basic questions and told the caregiver of the baby that she would speak to her husband about it and if agreed to, would seek legal counsel.

After the lady spoke to her husband they took a couple of days to search their hearts and pray about it. They felt lead to take the next step and see what they would have to do to see this happen. The lady called someone in the system who knew all the legalities of adoption and asked a few questions. What she found out was that they would have to put their China adoption on hold for a year after the private adoption took place and that the log in date would take effect again once the file was reiterated. The couple adopting from China was then left with a choice. Do they put their China adoption on hold and adopt domestically or do they continue on their way happy that they did not emotionally attach themselves to the child they new nothing about who could potentially be placed in their arms in a matter of weeks..................

They new right away in their hearts that God didn't lead them through 4 years of hard labour from infertility to their current 10 month LID in vain. They knew they had to lay the opportunity down and walk.

She also knew in her heart during the whole 6 day ordeal not to ever ask what the babies name was for fear that it would have stigma attached to it and she was very grateful to God for revealing that to her. Today the lady had to call the caregiver of the baby and explain to her that could not put on hold what God had already put on their hearts.

So now the lady feels both joy and sorrow. People always say that everything happens for a reason so perhaps the reason this happened to this adopting couple was so that they would be gently reminded to continually have faith, trust and belief that their time will come in God's time and perhaps this baby was put in their path just to be prayed for.

The lady later learned that according to the meeting from all the adoption agencies in San Antonio, the CCAA has said it will reject applications that have had additions to their families in the wait time. They also said that agencies that do so could loose their accreditation standing with China. This was something that the legal councel she sought did not tell her. (They may not know this themselves.)

Those who know trials and have survived from them a better person understand the comfort of knowing someone is there listening to you, someone who understands you, all those hurts you’re going through. Someone who doesn’t judge you or condemn you, just someone who loves you and trusts you that if you will only hang in there a little more, you shall surely make it through.

She has found her greatest joy in the arms of God in her darkest hour. She felt him hugging her, comforting her, crying with her. He didn’t just watch her. He didn’t scold her and reprimanded her to get up and be strong and stop being such a fool. He cried with her. He knew her pain and he claimed it as though it were His own.

....I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day. -2 Tim. 1:12


So now that the lady has felt the tiny drops of humanity slide down her cheeks and splash on the floor of her heart she is going to do some blog hopping for referral therapy.

26 comments:

Doris & Dan said...

My dear, what a difficult decision that was. My heart goes out to that lady. I can not even imagine how hard that must have been. She is so strong and brave for listening to her heart and to walk away. She is so brave and I am in awe of her. To truly feel that this is where she must go makes me realize that the little things I may face is nothing compared to that. Thank you so much for sharing that lady's story.

Keep smilin!

Robin said...

Wow, what a true test of faith and a true testement to faithfulness.

Blessings!

Krista said...

That is one brave and faith filled lady. I can't imagine how hard this was for her. But someday she'll know without a doubt that she made the decision she was meant to make. God bless her.

cougchick said...

What a difficult decision. My thoughts and prayers are with her and her Husband for strength during this difficult time.

Dawn and Dale said...

"That lady" truly is an inspiration to me. I can understand the struggles in her heart as I've been tugged towards other adoption programs but knowing that God has called me to China, means I must have faith and wait.

I know He does hear us and He does hold us during these hard times which most days is the ONLY thing that gets me through!!

Thank you for sharing this post. You had both Dale and I in tears this morning.

Praying for "this family".

Blessings,

Dawn

Jennifer "Jenny" said...

thanks for sharing that story. Truly inspirational. I would do the same :)

Janet said...

That lady has great faith, and I'm glad that she has God to help her through her tough times. All of this is in His hands, I pray that God will grant her his peace, no matter what happens. Also, we all would support her NO MATTER WHAT!

Kathy and Joel said...

I can't imagine the strength that must have taken. I hope that this woman knows just how inspirational she is.

Stacy said...

Wow! Debbie thank you for this post. In this world of instant gratifitcation it is sometimes so difficult to sit and wait. What a difficult decision the lady had, yet she made it so wisely with her heart and not her head.

Melissa said...

thanks for sharing that story - we all must stay on our paths - our girls are waiting!

Soccer Girl said...

I have your poster ready! just come to my blog to snag it!
hope you like it. (actually it'll be a little bit before it actually is on my blog because I have snail dial-up and it takes forever.)

~Darcy

Brin said...

Wow! What an amazing post! Thanks for the inspiration....

Hi! I'm Brin. I found you via Nadine's blog and just wanted to say that you've blessed my heart today! My best friend and her husband are currently in China... working with people there to share God's love and help out. They talk about how precious the children are there. I know yours will be, too!

Congratulations your around-the-corner adoption, and thanks for using your lives to be a blessing!

Brin
www.messythrillinglife.blogspot.com

Shannon said...

Hugs going out to "that lady".

Steffie B. said...

Wow.....what a difficult decision...but one of great faithfulness!

secret agent said...

How sad.
I think some agencies are taking it upon themselves to define the rules here... they state that you have to have a year inbetween children. Agencies are all saying something different.

Michelle said...

Wow, what a post! Such a struggle to make the right decision. But when you go with God, you can't be wrong! Thanks for sharing your story with us!

Truly Blessed said...

I'm sure it was a difficult decision for her, but I know that God is faithful and will bring a sense of calm and peace to her heart (and the heart of her husband).

God will continue to bless her family!

redmaryjanes said...

Oh my dear friend. I send "your friend" a big hug. What a difficult decision to have to make.

Olivia said...

Hey there! I'm glad you found my blog! I am very excited to follow the rest of your journey to get your little one home!

Stop by my blog anytime, I will visit yours often!

Jewels of My Heart said...

I am sorry "the Lady" had to go through that heartwrenching experience but I too believe they are to pray for the baby and how wonderful that the Lord is using them and their words of His love, truth, grace and faithfulness to minister to others who perhaps are not that strong in their relationship with Jesus or just need a reminder that God is on the throne and oh, how He loves us.
God's Speed
Daleea

Kimber said...

Another step on "the lady's" walk with the Lord and journey to her child. If you can beleive it, this happened to me too while we were waiting (and it was a 9 month old too). That was 3 years ago. It fell through and we have had our gorgeous, wonderful little angel from China for a month now. He does have a plan.

Kim

Ms. Dragonfly said...

When faced with a difficulty I always try to trust that the right event will unfold. Looks like you did that too. Your daughter stil awaits you my friend.
PS in my opinion you were right to guard your heart like you did

Nadine said...

What an inspiration. My heart goes out to "the lady" and her husband. May they have peace always for such making such a tough decision. May China come through quicker than expected.

Elisa, Jarrod & Thomas said...

That must have been the most difficult decision to make...I can't even imagine.

Lisa said...

I believe that, "the lady" will be even more blessed. God honors committment and "that lady" has surely done that. On the human side I'm sorry that she had to go through that but God doesn't take us thourgh things without walking right beside us. God bless.

Monica said...

It is hard to understand why God takes us along some of the twists and turns in our path...but there is ALWAYS a purpose for our good in everything that passes from His hands into our lives.

When we were caught in the very long wait for our second daughter, my heart became lost to a little boy in the Waiting Child list. My husband felt we had prepared for an infant daughter, not an older boy and that we needed to remain on our original path. I cut that little boy's photo out and placed it on our bedroom mirror. I decided that there was SOME reason God had laid this little boy on my heart. So, I decided if I wasn't to be his physcial mother, at least I could be his prayer mother. And I prayed daily that God would send just the right family to him and that He would comfort and protect that child in the meantime. Months passed. He disappeared from the printed photos of waiting children that our agency put out, so, I thought he had been adopted. Then, one day a new newsletter arrived from our agency and I almost cried when I saw his little face looking up from the inside page of that newsletter. He HADN'T been chosen by anyone. This time around, my husband agreed for us to apply for this little boy. The day the agency's choice of families was to be announced, I learned that a SECOND family had asked to be allowed to adopt this child after us...but, because we already had our paperwork in China, we would get priority over that family (who didn't yet have their dossier quite finished up).

My husband and I both believed that if this had been OUR son, there would have been no other family ask for him. Sometimes there are just things that you know in your heart. So, after making sure the other family really DID have their hearts set upon being this little boy's family, we withdrew our application. They got that little boy and we stayed in the waiting loop for child referral of an infant.

Looking back, I cannot imagine what a sorrow it would have been for us to have missed out on our beautiful little Rayna (which we would have if we had switched to the waiting child program). And, to our utter amazement, less than a year after little Rayna came home, a missionary from Taiwan called us out of the blue to ask if we would adopt a little five year old boy that would soon be arriving there at his children's home. That adoption cost us almost nothing (the missionary covered nearly all the expenses)...and the absolutely IMPOSSIBLE happened...we had a THIRD adoption when there was no way on earth we could have ever afforded a third one (we were still paying off loans received to finance Rayna's adoption).

We truly had believed we would never have more than two children...but, God had other ideas! He had a little boy for us...and He had begun preparing our hearts for our son long before our daughter had even been referred to us. He planted the desire for an older boy in our hearts as He laid that first little boy in the waiting children's program upon our hearts. Our son is the same age as the little boy we nearly stopped Rayna's adoption to adopt. Now BOTH boys have a family...the precise family God chose for them...and we have our precious youngest daughter who has brought us so much more joy than I ever could have imagined!

Often, God says, "Wait a little longer, child...."